I just saw something truly frightening

Yes, ladies and gentlemen.

Believe it or not, these are descriptions of excerpts from actual essays from people, who are now certified lawyers for the California Bar, who scored the highest in the state on these particular essay questions. Not only that — the California Bar deemed these the highest-scoring essays in California, and posts these on their website as exemplars good reasoning.

I’m about to take this exam this week—entering my own personal hell for eight hours a day this Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday—and reading these made me realize: hey, these folks are no more intelligent than I am? Throw your common sense out the window – this is the law! If anyone doesn’t do well on this test, it’s not because they won’t make good lawyers – they just need to figure out the game… learn how to do what we’re told, twist logic in the service of any client to the point that the real world is gone. Accept becoming a sophist for hire, even it’s for the Evil League of Evil… so long as it commands the right price!

/tantrum

Okay, I’m done now. And I admit, this week’s post is a bit dry and boring. But heck – this is all I can think about!

Oh, and I take the bar exam next week, Tuesday through Thursday, from 9am to 5pm each day. (Wish me luck!) 🙂

This essay question has a lawyer who has dinner with his client over a bottle of wine, they have sex, and he convinces her to accept a bad settlement. Highest-scoring essay in California writes this is “undue influence” to pressure the client. Why? Because there was wine.
– July 2006, Question #5, Answer B

“In CA, consensual relations between lawyers and clients are discouraged, but permitted as long as no duress or illegality is involved. Here, sexual relations are stated to be ‘consensual’, and so permitted under CA law.”
– July 2006, Question #5, Answer B
Um, I don’t think that’s what the CA ethics committee was thinking about…

Defendant’s wife takes the stand and says that he said something months ago incriminating himself. Is this admissible? Highest scoring essay in California writes 2 paragraphs about whether the husband is being denied the right to cross-examine himself.
– February 2009, Question #3, Answer B

(From the same essay)
“Further, [her statement that her best friend died] assumes facts not in evidence as there is no indication that she had died.”
– February 2009, Question #3, Answer B
Yeah I’d love for my lawyer to say that for me in court. Uh huh.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “I just saw something truly frightening

  1. LOL! Bon courage! as we say at my school. I’ll be thinking of you next week! You…can…do…this!

    • Liz, merci beaucoup for the encouragement!

      I don’t know if I’ll be commenting much on the net this week, but I will be lurking and checking-in here and elsewhere that’s for sure. By the way, next week I’m going to post the “Bear” story. You remember it, right?

  2. frenchfanofDA

    Hey! I’m a “reader” at TDC and a huge fan of David.
    Because of my bad English I never post comments but when I saw French words…
    OK, so I just want to say that I love your posts. Good luck and bon courage (lol)!!!

    • Hi frenchfan! Thanks for commenting – have you noticed that the last few posts have not had as many comments. I started to wonder if people were reading lol.

      And don’t feel shy about posting because of English! Besides, your grammar here is perfect! And please visit again! 😀

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